Andrew Breitbart founded Breitbart News in 2007. Like him it is loud, stupid, and full of shit.




“How prog-guru John Podesta isn’t household name as world class underage sex slave op cover-upperer defending unspeakable dregs escapes me,” this was the last tweet that Andrew Breitbart ever sent, a tweet that would evolve years later into #pizzagate, a fake news story about Hillary Clinton and John Podesta running a child sex ring out of a pizza joint in Washington D.C.

Pizzagate was propagated by Alex Jones and retweeted by Michael Flynn’s son. Ultimately, on December 6 2016, it led to a deranged man walking into Comet Ping Pong Pizza with an assault rifle, intending to free the sex slaves he thought were being held captive in the basement.

Other Breitbart masterpieces include this late night rant, tweeted out after Politico reported on John Lewis and other members of the black caucus having racial slurs thrown at them while they walked through a crowd of tea party protesters in Washington:
“OhmyGod, the Dems are screaming the N word outside of my house. I swear. No, really. Trust me. It’s true,”

“Why are elected Democratic leaders in front of my house in LA standing lock-armed screaming racial epithets & homophobic slurs?”

“Why is Steny Hoyer in Los Angeles sitting on Anthony Weiner’s shoulders screaming the N word into my home? Weird”

According to Andrew Breitbart, people should have been as willing to believe his story as they were to believe the story of the black caucus.

These tweets were followed up by an article in Breitbart News entitled:

“2010: a race odyssey—disproving a negative for cash prizes, or, how the civil-rights movement jumped the shark,” in the article Breitbart wrote that John Lewis and the black caucus’ decision to walk through the crowd was “in and of itself an act of racism meant to create a contrast between the Tea Party crowd and themselves.”

Andrew Breitbart, a man clearly well accustomed to taking his own advice, went on to say that:

“It’s time for the allegedly pristine character of Rep. John Lewis to put up or shut up. If you provide verifiable video evidence showing that a single racist epithet was hurled as you walked among the Tea Partiers, or you pass a simple lie detector test, I will provide a $10K check to the United Negro College Fund.”

As he told Slate in an interview, Breitbart’s strategy, much like Trump’s today, was constant warfare. As long as he kept on spewing words like an industrial grade fog machine the media would be forced to constantly respond to him, thereby bringing his claims to a wider audience.

“My entire business model is to go on offense. They don’t like our aggressiveness. They want to portray me as crazy, unhinged, unbalanced. OK, good, fine. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.”

In pictures Andrew Breitbart is immediately identifiable as a man in the same vein as Rush Limbaugh or Alex Jones.
He has a beer gut, and his aryan features are bloated, his blue eyes watery. His face is slack and infantile making him look like a sexually perverted Cupid. Andrew Breitbart’s hair, a mix of silver and piss yellow, is worn in a half mullet. 
In these images Brietbart is usually shouting something, sometimes with his Hitler finger raised for emphasis.

Breitbart died at age 43 of a heart attack, dropping dead outside a restaurant “like a sack of potatoes” as one witness described the moment that still causes Breitbart’s liberal contemporaries to orgasm every time they think about it.

Andrew Breitbart’s mission was to counter what he believed was a left biased mainstream media, which is to say a fact biased mainstream media.

At the epicenter of his personal galaxy of media ventures was Breitbart News, surrounded by niche sites such as Big Hollywood, Big Government, Big Journalism, and Big Jerusalem.

Each were a conservative response to what what Breitbart believed were left wing institutions.


Breitbart was known for his unnecessary cruelty and internet trolling. When he received several threatening messages from a man that Breitbart admitted was probably mentally unstable and in need of help, he took screenshots of the disturbing conversation and published them on Big Journalism along with a picture of the sender and his name.

“I want to create a level of pain for him that makes him realize this is not worth this.”

In February of 2014 Andrew Breitbart moved Breitbart News from his basement to an office space in Santa Monica payed for by his friend Stephen K. Bannon, then a conservative filmmaker with money left over from his time as a banker for Goldman Sachs.

Breitbart was well acquainted with spending money, and spending it liberally. When his great aunt died leaving him with twenty-three thousand five hundred dollars he took a semester off from college and used it to achieve “debauchery of a level that was incomprehensible to me” as he stated in a New Yorker interview.

In only a few months he had spent every last dollar.

Breitbart’s method of distorting objective reality stems back to his first ever published piece,  which he wrote for his high school newspaper, the Brentwood Eagle, in 1986. The article was an anthropological study of the school’s senior and junior parking lots. Breitbart wanted to argue that the seniors owned Mercedes and BMWs while the juniors had dinged up Volkswagons. Without a quote to support this thesis he turned to fabrication, making one up and attributing it to the school’s latest new kid,  Henry Sohn, who was from South Korea. The quote was written in a racist approximation of the boy’s broken English “Seniors are having too much of nice car than juniors.”

So it’s a little bit hypocritical that in 2010 Breitbart would exclaim in an interview with Slate, speaking like someone who had been skullfucked perhaps too hard, causing him to lose all sense of self awareness: “I will skullfuck anyone who misrepresents what I say.”

But I suppose nothing more should have been expected from a man who often claimed that Playboy was the only objective news source he’d ever read.

Andrew Breitbart’s first big scoop as founder and editor of Breitbart News came when his twenty-five year old apprentice James O’Keefe went on an extended tour of several ACORN offices. The Association of Community Organizations for Reform was founded in 1972.

O’Keefe was accompanied on his mission by a hidden camera and a student at Florida International Univerisity named Hannah Giles.

Hannah Giles was dressed as a prostitute and O’Keefe as her pimp, in a fur jacket and sunglasses.

At an ACORN office in Baltimore they said they were seeking business help and introduced themselves as having a “kind of unique” life situation.

As their interview went on O’Keefe revealed that the woman with him was a prostitute and that his life situation included an attempt to bring thirteen “very young” girls from El Salvador into the country.

The ACORN staffer said that the girls could be included on tax forms as “dependents”

O’Keefe: “What if they are going to be making money because they are performing tricks too?”

ACORN staffer: “If they are making money and they are underage, then you shouldn’t be letting anybody know anyway, it’s illegal. So I am not hearing this, I am not hearing this. You talk too much. Don’t give up no information you’re not asked.”

Andrew Breitbart employed a technique of releasing the video in short installments, forcing the media to report on the story in the form he wanted it told, while ACORN went on record lying after every installment was released, only for their lies to be refuted when the next video came out. Breitbart’s scoop ultimately killed ACORN. On November 2, 2010, it’s U.S. offices filed for Chapter 7 liquidation.

Despite the footage, Andrew Breitbart and O’Keefe didn’t actually have any evidence of wrong doing on the part of the ACORN staffers.
 And instead of releasing the information in a professional, journalistic manner they turned the story into a public crucifixion.

The fact that John Podesta was a member of ACORN’s advisory council was not passed over, and neither was a picture of Obama meeting with ACORN staffers as a senate candidate, a picture which was often included with the articles as if to implicate him somehow in the prostitution debacle.

 Andrew Breitbart had an unconventional view of Obama. He believed him to be a Marxist whose election was part of a plot begun in the nineteen-thirties by members of the Frankfurt School. The supposed plot also included taking over Hollywood, the media and colleges.

 While he was alive Andrew Breitbart spoke extensively about how academia had turned him into an anti-intellectual conspiracy theorist.

“I remember moments in class where I thought my head was going to explode, going, What the fuck are these people talking about? I don’t understand what this deconstructive semiotic bullshit is. Who the fuck is Michel Foucault?”

Arguably his head never stopped exploding until the moment he had a heart attack and died. And like so many mediocre white men before him who were scared of things they didn’t understand, Andrew Breitbart tried to rationalize his own confusion as, somehow, an insight.

“A lot of these guys I was reading about in my American Studies class were German and Italian social scientists from the University of Frankfurt. Once you see what their plan was, you realize that it was implemented. It was taking over the cultural institutions.”

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