Who Are We?
Call us cucks, snowflakes, touchy-feely pinko bastards, whatever you like. We personally prefer Flamboyantly Liberal Elitist Assholes (FLEAS.) Like many of history’s great muckrakers, we are young, sharp, insolent, and far from modest. If you oppose us, consider yourself bitten. #fleabite
What Do We Want?
Simply put: the utter destruction of the Alt-Right. Of course, the Alt-Right isn’t really a movement, but a flimsy coalition that is already buckling under the weight of its own self-contradiction (corporate fascism will never be “alternative”: it’s conformity in its most distilled form.) Unfortunately, our current presidential administration is “Alt-Right.”
Behind the grotesque, blustering front that is Donald Trump hides the three-headed beast that actually runs our country: drunken wife-beater Steve Bannon, latter-day Dracula Reince Priebus, and Stephen Miller, aka the “triple threat” (dumb, bigoted and inexperienced.) They must be toppled and made a mockery.
How Do We Play Our Game?
Nastiness. Irreverence and subversion of the norm. Sex, drugs, rock-and-roll. We pledge to be as edgy as the Alt-Right thinks it is, but with progressive values. We give thanks to the all-father Alec Baldwin, who has proven that satire can strike where drones cannot, and pledge to savage the current climate of far-right ghoulishness with our poisoned pens.